Dungeons and Dragons, but your character must be a self insert, and class is determined by your current abilities
Barbarian Must have a demonstrable temper, go off I guess Bard Must be able to play an instrument Cleric Must be involved in a religious organization Druid Must have demonstrable knowledge of, or passion for nature Fighter Must beat the DM in physical combat (hope your DM’s a wimp) Monk Must practice a martial art Paladin Must have a cause that one actively supports Ranger Must be able to fire a kind of ranged weapon accurately Rogue Must sneak up on the DM (Hard mode: steal their dice) Sorcerer Must have a powerful family heirloom Warlock Must work for a powerful entity (Corporations, The Government) Wizard Must have a College Degree or a 3.0 GPA
If you can’t be any of these you start as a commoner, and may become one of these classes when you finally satisfy these conditions.
I remember the second time I ever bottomed the guy used something he called “love garden” which was supposed to help with the pain because I said how much I hated bottoming the first time—and I was amazed! Although it still felt like taking a shit I at least didn’t feel like someone was digging in me like they were looking for a spoon in the garbage disposal. But the morning after I went to go poop and everything fell out of me with no push or anything and I noticed I had a one inch gape! 9 hours later! I spent the next 12 hours having panic attacks and considered how I would call my mom and explain to her that I needed my hole sewn up when at last I regained control and clenched back up.
Anyway, my man Elmo here is looking exactly how I looked when I went to inspect myself that morning and could slide 4 fingers in without blinking
